We all network, but we don't all do it effectively. In fact, most of us are really bad at it. That's very odd, as almost all of us are out there schmoozing and connecting with people.
I have become better at networking over the years. What I'm truly surprised by are all the commonsense elements of networking that are completely lost on people. Here are 10 things that most people should be doing—or doing better.
1. Press the flesh.
The core to networking is meeting people face to face. Except for rare occasions, such as long-distance online romances, all the friends and business colleagues that we trust we've met in person. If you think you can be an effective networker solely by engaging in social media, you're sorely wrong. You have to get out and press the flesh.
2. Stop staring at your phone.
The worst offenders are people working a booth at a trade show. Nothing screams, "I don't want to talk with you, and I'm too scared to talk with anyone," more than staring at your phone. You're blowing an amazing opportunity every time you stare at your phone at an event where you could make a true connection with someone walking by. Stop doing it.
3. Always have business cards.
This should be as basic as remembering to bring your driver's license, credit cards, and money in your wallet. Make sure you always have business cards, especially if you're attending a conference or trade show. Bring more than you think you'll need. I am always stunned when I go to a conference and someone doesn't have business cards. How do you expect someone to follow up with you? You can't, because they won't. But that's often not an issue given the next technique.
4. Always follow up.
This is the core of all networking: following up. If you don't do it, you might as well never have met the person. I would estimate that one out of 20 people I hand my business card to follows up. Collecting business cards without following up is a wasted engagement. It only takes days for the person to completely forget meeting you. If you follow up with some level of context of your meeting it increases the value and impact of the meeting. To remember that meeting, take notes on the business card.
When you do follow up, be specific about your follow up. Don't just say, "Nice to have met you," or, "We should meet for coffee sometime," because that now puts the onus on the other person to set up the meeting and discuss its purpose. That's quite a burden. If you want that to happen, you need to set the place, time, and purpose of the discussion.
5. Add to your address book/CRM program.
If you're going to follow up with someone, you must capture them in your contact manager or, better, in your customer relationship management (CRM) program, whose main function is to help you manage connections and follow up with those connections.
6. Respond when someone follows up.
Similar to the above, I'm always astonished when I send a follow-up email to someone I just met the day before and they don't even respond. I would say that at best one out of four people respond to a personal follow-up email. The lack of response is a slap in the face. It would be the equivalent of walking away from a conversation midsentence. We never do that, because it's rude. It's also rude if you don't respond to a follow-up email.
Yes, it's good to be directed about what you're doing and have focus, but you'll be a far more effective networker and make better connections if you simply listen to others. If someone else isn't as much a talker as you are, then ask questions. Pull them out of their shell; that will let you to listen to them. Networking is not an opportunity for you to spout out marketing copy that you hope someone else will absorb. Your job is to listen and create a relationship first.
8. Get people to like you.
This should be your top priority. Any objective or goal you may have can be extremely simplified if you just get people to like you. If people don't know you, don't trust you, or, worse, don't like you, then making a true connection or selling them anything will be an uphill battle.
9. Follow on social media.
Social media affords us the ability to maintain connections with hundreds if not thousands of people through ambient intimacy. That's the ability to know and converse with someone through a general open social conversation, most notably through Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. The only way you can continue this social conversation is to follow people in all these social spaces. Offer your links to Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn, and ask for theirs in return.
10. Follow up—again.
Though you can't keep following up with everyone, the point of networking is to maintain those relationships. Social media will probably be the most effective and efficient way to do this. That means you need to actually respond to people's Facebook posts, Tweets, and LinkedIn questions. But once again, if you want to make true relationships you need to go back to step 1 and press the flesh.
Conclusion: Networking takes work, but it pays off.
Networking is hard work, and though I admit that I make mistakes with some of the above techniques, I have adhered to them as solidly as possible for six years. The payoff for me has been tremendous. It will pay off for you as well. And if you do it right, it's actually a lot of fun. What's not to like about schmoozing and meeting new people?
This article was originally a report published by Spark Media Solutions' David Spark (@dspark) for Intertainment Media's Ingaged Blog, makers and distributors of the KNCTR and Ortsbo.