7 ways to screw up your elevator pitch

You can deluge your fellow passenger with the intricacies of your workaday world, or you might mumble and stumble your way to professional oblivion. There are alternatives, though.

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Not too long ago in a land very close by, I was giving my elevator pitch. I watched, horrified, as my elevator buddy’s eyes glazed over just as I went into my spiel about algorithms, psychographics, and massive amounts of social data.

I thought I was educating this man into buying my services. I was wrong.

The man—and probably 99.99 percent of other business owners out there—don’t want to be educated about what you do. That’s why they’re hiring you: so they don’t have to learn the arduous processes and procedures around what you or your company does.

Thankfully, soon after my startling realization I had a webinar with Infusionsoft, our CRM, about elevator pitches.

There are actually seven ways you can really muck up your pitch (including my method, No. 4):

1. The opera singer: Me, Me, Me, Meeeeeee. No, that’s not an opera singer warming up; it’s the salesperson talking about him- or herself constantly. Yawn, I’m bored. Maybe I should have taken the stairs.

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