Quiet confidence: How to shine your light as a leader

Mary Olson-Menzel is the founder and CEO of MVP Executive Development and co-founder of Spark Insight Coaching. Michelle Powers is a fractional chief of staff.

In communications, it’s easy to make the assumption that success is reserved for the loudest voices in the room: the extroverts. The ones who dominate meetings, grab attention with their charisma and have an almost magnetic presence. But there is so much power in the quiet leaders as well They are the ones who speak with intention, who lead by example and who harness their internal power without feeling the need to constantly broadcast their achievements to the rest of the world.

The truth is, you don’t need to be an extrovert to be a successful leader in the communications field or any other field, for that matter. Quiet confidence, when nurtured and practiced, can be just as impactful, if not more so. In fact, quiet confidence is often the secret weapon of some of the most effective leaders. It’s a form of self-assurance that doesn’t scream for attention but instead commands respect through authenticity, humility, and emotional intelligence.  As one of our clients says, aim to be the calmest person in the room, especially during these tumultuous times in business.

What is quiet confidence?

Quiet confidence is the ability to be self-assured without needing to assert your presence at every opportunity. It’s knowing who you are, what you bring to the table, and how to communicate with impact, without forcing it. Quiet confidence makes your own light feel more authentic. It also allows you to exude deep inner strength, build more meaningful relationships and maintain composure in high-stakes situations.

Why quiet confidence matters for communications leaders:

• Authenticity over arrogance: As a leader, people are looking to you for direction, and they need to be able to trust that you will do what you say you are going to do. This is true authenticity. Quiet confidence allows you to be genuine in your interactions, and this authenticity fosters trust. When you lead with quiet confidence, you show your team, clients and colleagues that you are secure in your abilities, which makes them more likely to exhale, trust you and follow your lead.
• Active listening: Diligent and intentional listening is just as important as speaking. When you listen intently, you gain valuable insights, build stronger relationships and show respect for others’ perspectives. This helps you make more informed decisions and communicate more effectively and powerfully with diverse audiences.
• Exercising humility: Quiet confidence is rooted in humility. It’s not about diminishing your achievements; it’s about owning them without the need for external validation. This humility empowers you to lead without fear of judgment or competition, allowing you to focus on what truly matters — your work, your team, and your mission.

Journal prompts to help you cultivate quiet confidence:

We offer these journal prompts below as an exercise for learning and personal growth. These prompts can encourage self-reflection, clarity and insight.

• What contributions have you made to your organization, and how do those contributions make you feel at the end of the day?
• What actions make you feel purposeful?
• Write about a time you felt confident in your abilities at work — why did you feel confident? What was the result?
• What is one thing you’ve done that you initially did not think I could do?
• When things don’t go the way you’ve planned, how can you respond in the moment with humility?

How to model quiet confidence for your team:

• Recognize and appreciate strengths and development needs: Take the time to reflect on your strengths, weaknesses and unique qualities to build your self-awareness. By understanding what you excel at and where you have room to grow, you’ll feel more secure in your abilities. Knowing all of these things also helps you to surround yourself with team members who complement your skills and gifts.
• Embrace and honor vulnerability: Quiet confidence is about being open to learning, admitting when you don’t know something and asking for help when needed. Tapping into your vulnerability allows you to connect with others on a deeper level and fosters an environment of trust. S
• Communicate with purpose: Whether you’re delivering a message internally or externally, be intentional in your communication. Quiet confidence is not about saying more — it’s about saying the right things at the right time, with clarity and impact. Your influence and the nuances of what you say and do matter, and can help to soften even the toughest message.
• Hold emotional intelligence in high regard: Being emotionally intelligent means you are attuned to your emotions and to the emotions of others. Quiet confidence allows you to regulate your emotions effectively, which helps you navigate challenging situations with dexterity and grace.
• Shine the light on others: Quiet leaders often focus on elevating others rather than seeking the spotlight for themselves. Recognizing your team’s achievements, celebrating their successes and giving credit where credit is due is the right thing to do. It also creates a successful succession plan for the future. This strengthens your leadership and creates a culture of collaboration and mutual respect.

Remember, true confidence comes from within. It’s the quiet assurance that you are capable, valued and ready to make a difference, without needing to prove anything to anyone.

Organizations need both kinds of leadership, as well as leaders who complement each other, can speak to diverse audiences and get the most out of their teams. Let’s celebrate both the introverts and the extroverts who lead with intention, grace, and humility. Both are equally important, and when they can embrace each other’s strengths, natural gifts and complementary skills to work together, they can make magic happen.