10 outrageous public statements that never happened—except for one

Match the statement to the person who could have issued it.

Match the statement to the person who could have issued it

Did you see Tiger Woods’ reference to press releases in his most recent statement? It said, “Personal sins should not require press releases.”

Ok, well, what if they did?

Here are 10 statements about real personal sins that their perpetrators could have issued. Match the statement with the person who committed the “transgression,” as Tiger put it. The answers are below.

Oh yeah, they’re all 140 characters or fewer. It’s Twitter’s world; we just live in it.

1. I built a flying machine and all I’m remembered for is exploiting my kids. I doubt the Wright Brothers had this problem.

2. Bust Wall Street crooks, they call you a reformer; run a state, they call you governor; spend $80,000 on one prostitute and they call you—.

3. I was given two options: Take a private jet to Washington or fly United. The public backlash was worth the choice I made.

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