12 brutally honest ways to describe co-workers

If only ‘I heat leftover fish in the lunchroom microwave’ was on a LinkedIn profile.

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These buzzwords might be an accepted form of self-marketing, but the truth comes out soon enough. If during your first performance review, your manager could go back and rewrite your LinkedIn profile, what would he or she write? Would she use the same descriptors that you did? I suspect your manager would be more honest than you were at the time.

Let’s rewrite them. These are the 12 most honest profile descriptors of employees—if written candidly by their managers.

1. I talk VERY loudly on the phone.

2. I add 10 minutes to every break.

3. I heat leftover fish in the lunchroom microwave.

4. I gossip about everyone.

5. I steal office supplies.

6. I spend half of my workday on Farmville.

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