How to write the perfect email pitch

Craft a clear subject line and opening sentence, and the rest is a piece of cake.

Ah, the perfect email pitch. If such a thing exists, it’s extremely hard to nail down. And you would have to alter even a “perfect pitch” depending on who you’re sending it to.

With so much to think about, how do you even begin? Like most things, it’s best to start at the beginning. With an email pitch, that is often the subject line.


Quite a bit is riding on your subject line. Even if the rest of your email sounds like it was crafted by Shakespeare himself, no one will read it if the subject line scares them off. It will just be another addition to their overflowing trash folder.

Spend some time going over potential options for the subject. A good rule for any subject is to be as short and to the point as you can. The alternative is to have a long, rambling subject that goes nowhere and says nothing. It’s another great way to scare people away from the great email you’ve crafted.

For example, “Banks announce loans for local businesses” is a catchy subject line for journalists on the small business beat. “Bank of America, BB&T, Wells Fargo and others would like to announce a plan for releasing funds for small businesses in the greater metro area” might be a wee bit too long.

Coming up with a succinct subject line is often easier when you know exactly what you’re going to say. If it helps, work on the email before you tackle the subject.

Opening sentence

One other factor that can stall your readers’ progress to the main body of the email is your opening sentence. It has to be interesting and compelling so that they want to read more. Otherwise, into the trash can it goes.

Since your subject line was short and to the point, consider expounding on it in your opening sentence. This is your chance to tell the reader why the subject is so interesting and why he wants to read the rest, so give it a good hook.

For instance, if the subject is “Banks announce loans for local businesses,” you can hit on the finer points of the story. “Yesterday, banks such as Bank of America and Wells Fargo announced they are allowing local businesses loans, and yours might be next.”

Anything to get peoples’ attention usually does the trick, and telling readers how they will be affected by what’s in your email will grab their attention. If the journalist writes for small business owners in your area, then he will likely want to know more.

Main body

Now for the main event: the body of the email. This is your time to really shine. Since you’ve gotten your readers fully hooked with your subject line and opening sentence, you can really show them what you’ve got with the body of the email. They want to be educated by what you’re offering, so give it to them.

Take your opening sentence and break it down. What information do you offer to explain your pitch? Take our bank loan example-your readers probably want to know more about the deal the banks are offering. What kind of loan is it? Where is it coming from? Why is it being offered now? Are there any stipulations to the loan?

Of course, readers will want to know how they can get this loan into their bank accounts. If you’re offering a type of service to go along with this news, slowly incorporate it into the email. Maybe you’re announcing this news because you offer a quick way for business owners to get the money through an online app. In that case, let readers know towards the bottom of the email once you mention how banks are sending out the money.

Have you ever written the perfect email pitch? Is there such a thing?

Mickie Kennedy is the CEO and founder of eReleases and blogs at PR Fuel.

Topics: PR

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