Imagine a press release written by Merriam-Webster authors to celebrate Grammar Day

Connie Conjunction, Ira Irony, Ellie Ellipses and the gang gather round to mark the monumental day.

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In the corporate offices of Merriam-Webster Dictionary, President W. Wordsworth Webster is gathering his workers into the boardroom for an important meeting. Topic: National Grammar Day. Webster wears a pair of khaki pants and a T-shirt that reads, “To infinitives and beyond!”

“OK, folks, it’s almost National Grammar Day, and seeing that we are the go-to book for logophiles, I think the first thing we need to do is send out a press release stating that we will be celebrating on Wednesday, March 4. I want this press release to be a collaborative process. Thoughts?”

“I, for one, think the press release needs to be clear, concise, well-written and reflective of the abject seriousness of what we do here,” said Angela Adjective.

Connie Conjunction broke in, “I do agree that it needs to be done, but we need to put a lot of thought into it before we go off half-cocked and make a mess of things while trying to get it done quickly. “

Ellie Ellipses began, “We do need to be the first to announce our celebration, however, seeing that …”

Silence prevailed as everyone looked toward Ellie, waiting for her to finish. As usual, however, she just drifted off.

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