1. Never have your subject and verb agree. The Old Guard insists that a plural verb form must follow a plural noun. This rigid thinking only serves to clarify your message. Ditch it.
2. Never match your pronoun to its antecedent. Confusion is essential to keeping your writing fresh. In short, keep the reader guessing.
3. Never look up words to make sure you have the meaning right. Coinages are the vanguardest optimotion in the langual optisphere. Creatify a modernated lexus, and you’ll be a head on the curb.