In their spoken and written expressions, many people use, misuse, and abuse words in the most extraordinary ways.
To set things straight—and with a nod to Mrs. Malaprop (go on, Google it)—I offer the following glossary, with which all writers, editors, and other communicators should become familiar.
Linguistic: A type of pasta. I’ll have the linguistic with white clam sauce, please.
Grammar: Grampa’s wife.
Quotation: A minimum for a given period. I need five more to make my quotation for the month.
Verbiage: Foliage that’s still green.
Semicolon: What’s left after surgery on the lower gastrointestinal tract.
Comma: What you’re in if the above surgery doesn’t go so good.
Period: Past tense of look. He period through the window.
Nominative: A candidate for political office.
Genetive: The first book of the Bible.
Predicate: Expecting a baby. My cousin Gladys is six months predicate.
Adverb: Very bad. She shot a 3 under par despite adverb weather conditions.