How corporate ‘quotes’ kill your marketing pitches

Jargon-laced e-mails get deleted fast; here’s how to spread the word to actual humans

I got a pitch via e-mail that was actually for something pretty cool, and something I might actually pass along to folks. It included a short informational press release, which was fine.

But I nearly choked on the quote that was in the release. I’ve changed identifying details so as not to embarrass anyone outright, but it was essentially this:

“Consumers are increasingly looking to enjoy their entertainment while mobile and our new Very Cool Video Thing offers the ultimate on-the-go fan experience,” said Big Wig, important title with Big Recognizable Company. “We are excited to bring viewers another compelling option with which to experience our high-quality content and satisfy their curiosity in way that fits their lifestyle.”

Who talks like that?